Thanks to those who have offered up help and suggestions for winter semester childcare. I think I have the afterschool situation covered, and backups, and now all I need is the two early morning shifts covered but I have some leads to follow up on.
This past week has been interesting. On the day that my divorce was final, a knot developed in my center that I carried around for five days. It was the weirdest thing, as generally I'm not a gastro-stressy person. Then it disappeared. It just went away, and I felt great. Really great, like I've been carrying around this sublevel anxiety that was suddenly released. I have just as much to do, but it doesn't feel ominous anymore. Instead of this nebulous feeling that the things I have to do are a gray sky above that I'm trying to clear by making wind with my hands, they just became a canopy of fruit that needs to be picked and I can just reach up and grab it.
I feel like I gained Deep Understandings of Life, without reading any Chicken Soup for the Soul books. I can focus on schoolwork, but then feel okay about setting it aside for awhile to play games with the kids or laugh with Evan over hilarious headlines from his book of compilations from The Onion. Six Flags Killer Still at Large, Says Souvenir-Bedecked Police Officer.
I think I molted. Perhaps somewhere in the neighborhood my crunchy shell is lying amongst this year's shed leaves, unseen for the cloak of early snow.