Thursday, November 29, 2007

Glad, where?

What a day. After a 6 month process, I showed up in court on my appointed day of today and then waited for what seemed like ages for a courtroom full of people to sign in. I then gave my testimony when called, which took about a minute, and I was done. I held up my right hand, swore in, and answered a battery of questions asked by my attorney with "yes yes yes yes yes yes yes". And now it's over.

Georgina accompanied me for moral support which was super fab of her because it was all pretty boring really. It could have been less boring if we could have knit, but we couldn't take our needles in. We talked about how strange it was to wait with all those people, all knowing that they're going through the same process. All these random people end up in this one spot on one day for the same reason. Like when you're waiting for a mammogram, and you know everyone there is going to get their boobs smooshed. Or when I saw an eating disorders psychologist years ago, and if there was someone waiting in the waiting room when I came out I felt like I had this automatic bond with them, that I knew that they were messed up, but I didn't know if they were throw-uppers, or anorexic or what. And I was curious about that. But your eyes don't even meet because that would be weird, because we wanted our screwed-upness to be anonymous. How things have changed, because here I am posting about it on my blog.

Now I just feel exhausted.

I got a message from the ex today that said that he was thinking about how the last time he told me he loved me, and that I told him that he only thinks he loves me. And he said maybe I was right.

What is love anyway.

I'm so tired, I can't even function right now. My dog keeps looking at me with concern. Or maybe she just wants to get fed. I think I've secured my dog's love with food, but that sure doesn't work with people. That's just a pile of empty gladware containers.

4 comments:

Warren said...

Love is when you do irrational things for other people. Usually good things.

Ypsipearl said...

Interesting definition. What's an example of an irrational good thing?

reticulatedmama said...

been thinking of ya there sister. just thought i would let you know. :)

Ypsipearl said...

Thanks. I felt much better the next day.